My medicine is NOT working but my mom says I should be grateful I have what I have anyway!
Originally Posted by Mom : As long as you're not having 12 a day, be grateful. It is working.
I am grateful but I don't want them period! And the aura's, partials and side effects are driving me up a d@m wall. My side affects in particular, I can't get sentences out right. I'm stumbling and tripping, literally and figuratively though, day by day. I feel like I'm trapped in some sort of Merry-Go-Round of Doom!
I feel terrible that my mom has to do all this crap for me. Paying for medicine that barely keeps up. I don't TRUST my doctors. Pretty much don't feel like any of them care or even try to. I feel like they put their own wallets ahead of my well being. I'm scared that they are going to make me live like this forever! I can't do that, I want to go back to school.
I know I can, obviously, even if I do have to live with my seizures but I feel so out of control, I just feel like sleeping all day and night! Which I do anyway because my medicine KO's me every time I see the light of day! I'm becoming way photo-phobic! (no, not scared of day light! Photosensitive) Florescent lights, dim lights, the sun! Every time I'm under one it puts me to sleep so fast, I don't know what hits me!I literally have to go to sleep otherwise I pass out where I am. My whole body HURTS under the lights until I go lay down.
That's another thing! How am I suppose to get anything done when I'm sleeping day and night! I feel completely useless! I can't do my Chinese lessons, I have the attention span of a fly. When I'm not sleeping, I'm in pain. this stupid nerve thing makes unmanageable headaches. Also, I'm gaining weight and I don't know why. I take walks and I do the Wii fitness, which is all I'm allowed to do, and it does NOTHING. This Lyrica... my goddess. Sometimes I swear, I feel like the doctors are right and all of this is in my head! But it's not ...
The only thing that is keeping me floating are my parakeets and Purple day.
Originally Posted by Mom : As long as you're not having 12 a day, be grateful. It is working.
I am grateful but I don't want them period! And the aura's, partials and side effects are driving me up a d@m wall. My side affects in particular, I can't get sentences out right. I'm stumbling and tripping, literally and figuratively though, day by day. I feel like I'm trapped in some sort of Merry-Go-Round of Doom!
I feel terrible that my mom has to do all this crap for me. Paying for medicine that barely keeps up. I don't TRUST my doctors. Pretty much don't feel like any of them care or even try to. I feel like they put their own wallets ahead of my well being. I'm scared that they are going to make me live like this forever! I can't do that, I want to go back to school.
I know I can, obviously, even if I do have to live with my seizures but I feel so out of control, I just feel like sleeping all day and night! Which I do anyway because my medicine KO's me every time I see the light of day! I'm becoming way photo-phobic! (no, not scared of day light! Photosensitive) Florescent lights, dim lights, the sun! Every time I'm under one it puts me to sleep so fast, I don't know what hits me!I literally have to go to sleep otherwise I pass out where I am. My whole body HURTS under the lights until I go lay down.
That's another thing! How am I suppose to get anything done when I'm sleeping day and night! I feel completely useless! I can't do my Chinese lessons, I have the attention span of a fly. When I'm not sleeping, I'm in pain. this stupid nerve thing makes unmanageable headaches. Also, I'm gaining weight and I don't know why. I take walks and I do the Wii fitness, which is all I'm allowed to do, and it does NOTHING. This Lyrica... my goddess. Sometimes I swear, I feel like the doctors are right and all of this is in my head! But it's not ...
The only thing that is keeping me floating are my parakeets and Purple day.
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